The Report Is In: I'm a Survivor

The results from the surgical pathology report are in, and I have had a pathologically complete response (pCR) to neoadjuvant (before surgery) chemotherapy.

Meaning, all of the cancer is gone; the chemo killed it. 100%. 

ALL OF IT (that we were aware of-- because come on, cancer is a huge fucking asterisk; but today I am ignoring that).
Yes, I will still be doing some radiation. The medical community is a bit divided on this, but for the fact that I am triple negative, young, and I was Stage III. It's okay, because at least it's not chemo!

Friday, John and I met with my surgeon's team to review the pathology report (it basically says "negative" the whole way through, and in this case negative is a beautiful, gorgeous, incredible word). The PA, M., told us that the whole office cheered when they got my report back and that "This doesn't happen very often." She also mentioned that I am "stoic," and that I seem like someone who is going to push myself more than I should in terms of getting exercise. Ummmmmmmm I don't know what you even mean.

Today, John and I met with my oncologist, who also reviewed the pathology report with us and confirmed that it said "negative" the whole way through.

She then reiterated what she had stated in an earlier email that this is "great news prognostically." Meaning, the rate of recurrence is much lower for me now.

I asked if I will have scans after radiation. She said, "No. There is nothing there to scan." (Here is an asterisk again but I feel confident this is true right now.) 

I asked what my new staging is (original was Stage III). She said it is nothing; there is nothing left to stage.

I asked if I could say the phrase "cancer-free." She said yes. 

I asked if I could use the term "survivor." She said yes. (see below)

Then she said, "See you in six months for your regular check-in," (but really I am still in the clinical trial and so it will be sooner, but that's okay).

I want you to know that I received this news while wearing a gingham button-down shirt (J. Crew because it's me and J. Crew everything I don't care if you hate it) that I only noticed had a stain as I sat down in her office for the appointment (coffee? Most likely). After hearing the news and getting ready to depart, I realized that I also had mis-buttoned my shirt... because of course I did. 

JUST KEEPING IT REAL FOR YOU ALL.

Honestly, John and I are still processing this amazing news and our fresh new start in life. I am still a bit stunned. But also like I expected it, but not in a fake-ego way, because it was never a given that I would have the absolute best outcome I could... so there is a lot to unpack.

I have a ton of gratitude; for John, for Kelley and David, for my mom and my dad, for all of my family, my friends and for you, for my body, for my medical team, for my cancer mentor friends, for my colleagues, for pets and deer, for spring finally being here... Thank you. At the beginning of this, I knew I would need a community of support. You all truly rallied and I felt your support and love the whole way through. Thank you so very much. 

Obligatory Destiny's Child "Survivor" viewing HERE. 

If you have any other survivor-related songs that you recommend, feel free to comment or send to me via other medium. 

Showcasing some of the gorgeous blooms I received pre-and post-surgery. 💓